"My Money". Оnline workshop "The successful strategy"
Often our lives go round and round, and we step on the same rake. But we’re not interested in what happens often. What we’re interested in – exceptions. Exceptions, by the way, do not confirm the rules at all. No, they don’t. This phrase comes from Roman law and sounds like “Exceptions confirm the existence of the rule”. I know people of all ages who have been successful. So, what? So there is a rule, and it must be understood!
Why we get stuck? My psychologist’s favourite answer is “Because gladiolus” is absolutely not appropriate. There must be some good reason. There is. We hold on to our systems. What is a system? A system is elements and connections. We’re tightly bound to all the people in our system. Changing to a new system, to a system where we have, for example, much more money (or other relationships or health) is not a simple thing. Anyone who has tried to quit smoking or drinking knows this. People around us have resisted it in every way. And you don’t want to break the relationship yourself.
On the other hand, and the new system does not meet us with open arms, because in it all the elements are already connected, there are no free connections, we have nothing to hang on to. Even if you have incredibly high valency, i.e., the ability to form new relationships, you still have to have someone to build it with you. Or you need a catalyst.
I changed the system once, and from ” paycheck to paycheck” to “rich people”, I became one of the three most influential people in the KEY Computer Center. For several years I was in it, feeling some sense of “Teflon”. That’s not who I belonged to. Except for work, we didn’t have any contact points, although the guys tried very hard. It never happened, despite honest attempts by KEY owners, all the meetings, birthdays,… In the end, I just ran away from the “rich people” system. Quite willingly.
And I distinctly remember knowing that my pattern of behaviour for the new system was not appropriate. And at the same time, I somehow even engaged it, feeling very much needed, somewhere inside me, repeating that “you will have to accept me for who I am” without realizing that it’s not about them, but about me. The systems know how to control us. And besides, I didn’t have any other model of behaviour.
It’s hard to realize the wrong pattern. But we still have to replace it with a successful one. And this one has to be invented or found. But our unconscious always makes the most ecological choice available to us. Maybe we can ask it to find other ways, and it will find the right one. That’s what we’re going to do.
And by the way, being in a society of rich and very rich people, and not just in KEY, has clearly benefited me. No matter how I resisted, I still saw successful models of successful people, it’ s in me, although I did not realize them. It still goes up a little bit to the level of awareness.
Oleg M. Vaynberg, Brisbane, Queensland.
NLP-master, professional business coach, MBA and tutor MBA program OBS OU and RANEPA. For many years, I worked on the board of directors of a federal company and taught an MBA course at OBS OU. The author of three books and dozens of articles on organizational psychology.