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My Money. Online workshop "Debts to our ancestors". How to stop the money from flowing through your fingers.

It is another workshop in the series “Where the money goes and where the debt comes from”. It will be about debt. And not only debts but also the inability to hold on to and save more or less significant money.

We have brought our needs to the world, taken what the world gives us. Now it’s a good time to keep it from going through our fingers. To accumulate, to save some time to invest. There are many myths around it. For example, that money doesn’t like stagnation and needs to be in motion. Part of it’s true. The truth learned by a century of monetary reform and crazy inflation.  But even if it’s true, it’s not an excuse to let go of what we got on the first day.  There’s also the myth that “a penny saves a pound.”  In a sense, it’s the reverse of the first myth. Our parents have been saving a penny on a bank or under a pillow. And then we got reforms.  Why is money hard to save?

  • One of the reasons is the misunderstanding of balance, fairness. It’s not fair if we “live in clover” and sit on a heap of money when our ancestors were dying in poverty. To live a little better than they are is right, we agree. After all, they fought for our good life. But too good is not fair. And we poured money on our dead.
  • The second is systemic debt. A lot of articles have been written about this thing, although I’ve actually met this thing, maybe ten times in practice. It’s when somebody in the family got an advantage at the expense of other people and didn’t pay for it. And now the descendants are trying hard to pay off their debts.
  • The systemic fear of having what they can take away. It’s unbearably painful to see what’s earned by hard work go to the brazenly smiling bandits. And sometimes it hurts physically. Irons, soldering irons, and other tools to help you remember hidden property is not an invention of the 90s. It was invented a lot earlier. To save a little more than others, for a century, meant putting yourself and your family in mortal danger.

And how do you feel when you have more money than you need to eat, buy clothes and provide shelter? How much anxiety does one get, and where is it in the body? Constellators like to talk about how someone in the family got something important and didn’t pay, and now all the descendants have to pay those debts. I guess it happens, although I’ve barely seen it in years. We’ll look there too, but more often than not it’s the other way around.  We’ll work on the following reasons:

  • Systemic “debts”
    • Somebody in the system got something and didn’t pay.
    • Someone in the system has lost everything, and we’re trying to keep in touch, losing just like them.
  • Fear of loss.
    • Your experience when money was “burned” or property was lost.
    • Systemic experience, when it happened generations ago.
  • Wrong understanding of balance when living much better than our ancestors seems unfair to us.

Will there be an hour enough for all this? That’s enough. The grains will fall into the ground and will surely rise.

Oleg M. Vaynberg, Brisbane, Queensland.

NLP-master, professional business coach, MBA and tutor MBA program OBS OU and RANEPA. For many years, I worked on the board of directors of a federal company and taught an MBA course at OBS OU. The author of three books and dozens of articles on organizational psychology.

The workshop is in Russian


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